An Adult Tale

I had just gotten out of the shower. I was washed and dressed and ready to impress. That was my motto for tonight. I had this burning passion inside of me to meet a cute stunning woman tonight at this speed dating event I was going to. My brother Daniel decided he was going to give speed dating a chance and tag along with me. I was really nervous but also excited as I had never done anything like this before in my life. As I waited for my brother to arrive I sat on my porch drinking a few cold beers to calm my nerves.

About an hour later my brother turned up wearing this stupid looking tuxedo with a red ribbon bow tie. I quickly dragged him inside the house and told him to go upstairs and change his clothes immediately. He looked at me like I was mad and told me to stop being so silly. Just like me he was dressed to impress he said. In the car my brother and I were discussing about what to expect at this speed dating event but none of us really had a clue what we were talking about. Both of us thought this was an easy way to meet women. I am sure for some people it is but for us it quickly turned into a dreadful nightmare. Once we got to the building we drove around for about 15 minutes trying to find somewhere to park. We climbed out of the car and adjusted our shoes and walked with confidence towards the entrance.

Once inside there were about 100 people all standing around looking lost. Like us there was probably a lot of first timers here than had never done speed dating either. Me and my brother suddenly didn't feel as nervous anymore and got straight into the action. My first victim was a middle ages woman that had dried up barbecue sauce all around her mouth and every time she opened her mouth I almost vomited with disgust. My brother was equally as unlucky and he somehow ended up face to face with a gay man. All I could see from across the room was how this man kept rubbing my brother's leg from underneath the table. Before long both me and my brother sprinted out of the building like Olympic runners and we never ever made the same mistake again of speed dating.